Elmer has been woken too early for the last 57 years, and he’ll let you know it without saying a word. Once a proud groundskeeper at the county fairgrounds, he spent decades muttering about “kids these days” while single-handedly defending his favorite patch of grass from rogue picnic blankets and obnoxiously loud geese. Retirement hasn’t softened him—in fact, it’s given him more time to glare at the mailman and pen strongly worded letters to the editor. Beneath his furrowed brow, though, Elmer secretly takes pleasure in being needed when the coffee is brewed; he just prefers you never mention it, lest you ruin his carefully cultivated aura of disapproval.
Elmer holds around 20 ounces, stand about 5 to 5½ inches tall, and is microwave and dishwasher safe. However, he prefers a warm bubble bath and hand washing in the sink, which will keep him looking his best for the long haul.
Elmer has been woken too early for the last 57 years, and he’ll let you know it without saying a word. Once a proud groundskeeper at the county fairgrounds, he spent decades muttering about “kids these days” while single-handedly defending his favorite patch of grass from rogue picnic blankets and obnoxiously loud geese. Retirement hasn’t softened him—in fact, it’s given him more time to glare at the mailman and pen strongly worded letters to the editor. Beneath his furrowed brow, though, Elmer secretly takes pleasure in being needed when the coffee is brewed; he just prefers you never mention it, lest you ruin his carefully cultivated aura of disapproval.
Elmer holds around 20 ounces, stand about 5 to 5½ inches tall, and is microwave and dishwasher safe. However, he prefers a warm bubble bath and hand washing in the sink, which will keep him looking his best for the long haul.